Me & a whole lotta yall gone geh moe wrang when ah doan see yall out deh
The devil is real
Jagdeo, brassington, ashni, the PPP
SEIZE IT & JAIL THEM
Ati woman, Panay, Philipines - Image via Wikipedia
i’ve been chanelling oprah for two and a half decades, but i’ve never been a black woman.
i’ve been called a ‘oman seventeen, eighteen, nineteen times. no wait. more. a lot more.
some of my best friends are black women and i can proudly say that and my mother has been a black woman for a good while now.
they does seh all black peoples is the same. you know who they is. don’t play like you doan know. but you see, i doan know nuttin bout that. i do know one thing in particularly about black women. when one about to start beating a child, the sequence of events are the same ev’rywhere i’ve been.
it’s mind boggling. it’s almost like…like they all think alike.
a woman climbs down the hill with a baby in her arms cradled against her bosom carefully navigating the gravel path. down the ravine and into the rock-bed of the stream.
a little girl about five years old trails the woman. she’s kicking up a storm, screaming and hollering the whole way down.
you cant make out the words, but the mother occasionally turns and says something to the little girl then continues on.
you could just imagine the conversation is going a lil something like this. and these are universally accepted scientific principles. trust me on this.
hello what you crying for? climbing down the hill.
girl don’t cry cry in meh ears if you gonna come with me. down the ravine.
girl what’s your damn problem? don’t get me vex. into the rock-bed of the stream. deep breathing exercises. tend to the baby in her arms.
ah done tell yuh a’ready. yuh hear me? preparation to climb up the rock wall and pass through the space that leads back up the hill on the other side of the stream. this leads to the trail that will take you to the main road that leads into town.
before your average black woman reaches her breaking point and starts beating a child, she will say one of the following things, sometimes all, in a semi-conscious, rhythmic, rage-like state.
i didn’t tell you stop cry? and/or
look! i tired an’ i don’t want hear nothing right now. and/or
like you want i give you something to cry for? eh? and/or
galang and cry to yuh father i ain’ able wid dis shit today. and/or
ah seh ah doan waan hear no noise in meh ears dis early in de mornin. yuh hear me? good. and/or
you hear wuh i jus seh? and/or
ah gon give you something fuh cry fuh. come hey!
at this point a very high pitched shriek is usually followed by ow mommy doan beat me ah gon stop cry or one of its equivalents. followed by halting sniffles and silent hyperventilating.
i didn’t see the woman put the child on the ground. i’d taken my eyes off the unfolding action to move a plant. i just heard the branches breaking.
when i picked back up the action, the mother was attacking a pile of dead breadfruit tree branches. she found her weapon, did a looping 180 degree turn and met the little girl as she hauled herself halfway up the rock wall still screaming and hollering.
they both had terror in their eyes.
the screaming and hollering stopped halfway through a note.
i didn’t tell you stop cry? no answer.
take your ass back to the house. galang and cry to yuh father i ain’ able wid dis shit today. look! i tired an’ i don’t want hear nothing right now. like you want i give you something to cry for? eh? galang home and cry to yuh father. i ain’ able. you hear wuh i jus seh?
eyes filled with terror
she held her weapon above her head as she spoke. i wondered whether she was contemplating murder in broad daylight. the little girl held herself halfway up the wall the entire time in silence. the woman looked up and saw me and i got nervous. i ducked my head and played like i was busy again
she turned and continue looking at her prey. i half suspected i was about to witness my first murder. i was half peekign trying not to be caught looking again.
still looking down at her prey she flung the weapon off in the distance, turned and picked up her baby gently.
she paused to gather herself then continued up the hill.
the little girl stood as her mother started walking. after a few seconds she follow her up the hill. silently and at a safe distance.